


I NEED YOU

by palominopup



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-06-04
Packaged: 2018-04-02 20:38:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4073128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/palominopup/pseuds/palominopup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas experience their first fight as a couple.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I NEED YOU

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a writing challenge on the DESTIEL FOREVER FB Group. The Prompt was: First argument which ends somehow in them trying and failing to spend a night apart. 
> 
> For those of you who like my stuff, I've created a FB group page. I'll post my stuff there and you can give me prompts. https://www.facebook.com/groups/550258875175871/

“Time to get out of here, Babe.”

Castiel, who had been tracing protection sigils onto Dean’s muscular back with the tip of his finger, paused. “I would like to wake in your arms, Dean.”

“Cas, we’ve talked about this. I’m just not ready to tell Sam about us.” Dean, whose head was nestled on his crossed arms above his head, would not look at Castiel. Anger coiled in Castiel’s belly like a viper.

“When do you think you’ll be ready, Dean?” Castiel sat up, putting some distance between their naked bodies.

“Cas, you’re beginning to sound like a girl. Can’t you just be happy we’re together?”

“Maybe you would prefer my vessel to be female, Dean. Then you wouldn’t have to hide me away like a shameful secret.”

Dean pushed himself up and rounded on Castiel. “Damn it, Castiel, I just asked for some fuckin’ time…” He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

“Time…” Castiel was rigid with rage. “Time...take all the time you need, Dean.”

Castiel stood and picked up his clothing from the floor where Dean had let it fall before their lovemaking. He disappeared in a rustle of feathers.

The garden, his garden, is bathed in sunlight and Castiel sits on the white wrought iron bench. Butterflies flit about the bright flowers and the hum of bees calms Castiel. A dragonfly lands on his pants leg at his knee, the black fabric a nice backdrop for the iridescent colors of the insect. Castiel studies the small creature and not for the first time wishes he could be as insignificant as one of God’s smaller creations. They didn’t fall in love. They didn’t suffer heartbreak.

Six years…for six years, Castiel worshiped Dean Winchester. He entered the gates of hell for him. He fought and died for him. He gave up heaven’s army for him.

“Am I unlovable, Father?” Castiel whispers. His father is still gone, but sometimes Castiel likes to think that somewhere he is listening to his flock. Castiel leaned his head back to feel the warmth of the sun on his face.

Dean cares about him. Dean would give his life for Castiel. Castiel knows those two things without a doubt, but does Dean love him…not as a brother, but as a mate? The last five weeks have been wonderful. The one night of drunken sex lead to many stolen moments of bliss. Castiel was so happy to finally be with Dean…to feel his kisses…to touch and be touched…but tonight…the words spoke in anger…

In six years, there had been many sharp words thrown at each other. Lies and half truths…betrayals and broken loyalties…but this was a first time…a first time fighting as a…what were they? A couple? They had not labeled themselves. All Castiel knew was that they were together and now…

***

“Son of a bitch,” Dean snarled. “Cas, get your feathery ass back here. We aren’t done.”

Damn angel…just fuckin’ disappears right in the middle of a fight. Dean pulled on his bathrobe and stomped down the hall. He needed a drink. The Mark burned, making itself known.

One drink turned into six. Dean was sitting at the table in the library and that’s where Sam found him the next morning. Sam looked at the bottle of Jack Daniels sitting in front of Dean and he gave him a pinched look. “Dean, you okay?”

“Does it fuckin’ look like I’m okay?” Dean shoved the bottle across the table and stood up. He swayed from a combination of alcohol and lack of sleep. He was sober enough to know he couldn’t talk to Sam about any of this. He made a hasty retreat down the hall.

His room smelled of sex. He ripped the sheets off the bed and bundled them up. A few minutes later he was stuffing them into the washing machine. While they washed, he lay on the bare mattress and went over the argument in his head. It was their first fight since they’d been sleeping together. It was bound to happen sooner or later. Castiel was an angel for crying out loud. It was bad enough Dean was human, but he was a fucked up human and that made it worse.

Dean tried to read, but couldn’t concentrate. “Cas, come on…don’t be an ass.”

The day dragged on. Minutes turned to hours. Dean’s prayers got more desperate as the day went on. “Cas, please, Babe. Come home.”

He made his bed with the freshly laundered sheets. They hadn’t spent an evening apart since that drunken night all those weeks ago. They had a routine. Cas would make his excuses about being tired or something and he would go to Dean’s room to wait for him. Dean would hang out with Sam for a few more minutes and then he would stretch and yawn. After they were sure Sam was asleep, Cas would go to his own room for the rest of the night. Dean thought about that and winced. God, he was a bastard. No wonder Cas was pissed. He sent him away every night like a paid whore.

Night fell and Sam came into his room. “Not sure what’s crawled up your ass and I really don’t care, but I just wondered if you knew where Cas was. I have something to show him.”

“He’s gone.” Dean shrugged and averted his eyes. “Don’t know where.”

***

Castiel heard the first prayer…the second and all the others. There was a pain in his heart. Damn these stupid emotions. He should have returned to heaven after pulling Dean from hell instead of staying and learning to love like humans. Dean was ashamed of their relationship. Being apart had to be better than causing shame to Dean. Castiel could continue to search the world for Dean’s cure. He wouldn’t be a burden and an embarrassment to Dean anymore.

The garden was still bright from the sun…because Castiel wanted it that way. Darkness would just remind him that he wanted to be in Dean’s bed…in Dean’s arms.

“Cas, I need you.”

That prayer was like a stab to his chest. He remembered that night, Naomi’s brainwashing…he’d almost killed Dean, but those words broke through. “I need you.” Of course, he meant that Castiel was family. Family, not someone he was in love with. Not like Castiel loved him.

He watched the bees…bees made him happy. So, why did he feel like his life was ending? Why did it hurt so bad?

It was night in the Lebanon, Kansas. Dean would be getting ready for bed. There would be no need for subterfuge tonight. No need for Castiel to pretend to go to sleep in his own room.

“Father, why create something that is so painful? Love is a punishment.” Castiel stood and walked to the edge of the garden, from here he could see the sea, the crystal blue ocean. Dean had talked one night about taking him to the ocean. They were happy. Castiel loved being with Dean. It came to him then, he was happier with Dean. Being in his garden, his heaven…didn’t make him as happy as he was with Dean. He turned from the ocean and walked to his bench. It was time to go back. Time to let Dean know he was sorry for his anger. Time to tell Dean their secret was safe, no one would ever know. As long as he was with Dean, he could be happy. He could live with Dean’s rules.

“Cas…damn it…I love you.” Dean’s prayer staggered him. He sat to keep from falling. The weakness in his knees was like nothing he’d ever felt before.

***

Dean tossed and turned. He’d grown used to having Cas in his bed. No, that was wrong…it wasn’t that he was used to having Cas there…he needed Cas there…he…he was in love with Cas. The idea of even one night without his angel by his side made his head ache…made his chest ache. The Mark throbbed with every beat of his heart.

“Cas, I need you.” He sat in the dark, waiting. Minutes ticked by. He pushed the heels of his hands to his eyes, trying to stop the tears. He couldn’t live without Cas…he just couldn’t.

He rolled out of bed and turned on the lamp. Wild eyed, he looked around his room. His room. It should be theirs…Cas’ books should be on the nightstand…his stuff should be in here with Dean’s. Grabbing his discarded jeans from earlier, he fought the wave of nausea and opened his door. The hallway looked longer than ever before…he counted the steps to Sam’s room. Forty-two.

His fist hit the door hard, again and again. “Sam…Sammy…wake up.” Dean’s raised voice echoed in the hallway.

The door opened. A concerned Sam stood there, hair standing on end, eyes heavy with sleep. “What’s going on? You okay?”

“Cas and I…me and Cas are…” Dean raked his fingers through his hair. “We’re a thing, Sammy.”

Sam’s eyes softened. “Dean, you and Cas have been a thing for a long time.”

“What? No, Sammy…we are together…”

“You aren’t nearly as good at keeping secrets as you think you are, Dean. He loves you. You love him.”

“He loves me.” Sammy smiled at the wonder in Dean’s voice and written all over his face.

“Of course, he does. He’s loved you forever…” Sam’s eyebrows furrowed. “Where’s Cas, Dean?”

“He thinks…fuck… I didn’t want to tell you about…us. I made him leave my room every night. He was angry.”

“Dean….” The look of pity in Sam’s eyes should have made him angry…he didn’t need anyone’s pity…instead it twisted the knife that was already wedged in his heart.

“I drove him away, Sam.”

“So, get him back.” Sam said it like it was the easiest thing in the world.

“I’ve tried…I’ve prayed to him all day.”

“Pray again, this time…don’t hold back.” Sam laid a comforting hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Tell him you love him, Dean.”

Dean closed his bedroom door and looked up. He sank to his knees on the floor. “Cas…damn it…I love you.”

He closed his eyes, not daring to hope. His fists were clinched so tight his blunt fingernails bit into the flesh of his palms. The Mark began to burn…a cold burn… Dean opened his eyes and stared down at the welted flesh. It was glowing blue…it looked like…an angel’s grace.

The rustle of feathers brought his eyes up. With his eyes wet from tears, Cas was a blur. Dean blinked. “You came back.”

“I came back.” Cas went to his knees in front of Dean. They stared into each other’s eyes for what seemed like hours. Dean couldn’t look away.

“I…I love you, Cas.”

“I love you, Dean. I always have and always will.” Cas reached up to touch Dean’s face.

The pain made him gasp. His arm was on fire. Cain’s words came back to him…nonononono…not now, not when he… Cas was holding him, kissing him… Everything went black.

***

“It just disappeared?” Sam was staring at him with a crazed look in his eyes. “Just like that?”

“He just screamed and I held him, Sam. I didn’t even realize it was gone until I got him into bed.”

Sam paced the library restlessly. “So, what were you talking about…what…fuck…I just don’t get it.”

“We’d been…arguing and I left…” Castiel couldn’t tell Sam the truth, Dean wouldn’t want that.

“Cas, I know about you and Dean. Dean told me everything last night.”

Castiel stood up and then sat down. “Told you everything…”

“Yeah, Cas. So, tell me…what happened?”

“He told me he loved me. I told him I loved him. That’s when he…he…”

“What else?” Sam came closer, eager for an answer.

“I…I don’t know. That was it. I picked him up and put him in bed…”

Sam began to laugh. A deep laugh that came from deep inside of him. He grabbed Castiel’s hand and pulled him up. The big man wrapped his arms around Castiel and lifted him off his feet. “I’ve got to call Charlie. You go check on Dean.”

Castiel opened the door and saw his…mate…the man he loved…lying peacefully on his bed. He sensed Dean would be okay. The Mark was gone. It just disappeared. He sat down on the edge of the bed and picked up Dean’s right hand. He touched the place where the Mark had been. There wasn’t even a scar, it was like it had never been there. He intertwined his fingers with Dean’s and brought them up to his lips. He kissed each knuckle.

“Cas?” Castiel looked up to see Sam standing in the doorway. “I’ve got Charlie on speaker.”

“Hello, Charlie.”

“Castiel…it was true love’s kiss…” Her voice was high pitched. Almost a squeal. He looked at Sam quizzically.

“I don’t understand…”

“The cure, Cas…true love’s kiss.” The excitement in her voice was palpable.

“But we’ve kissed hundreds of times…” He looked at Sam apologetically.

“Sure you have, but Dean didn’t…couldn’t admit that he loved you to himself,” Sam said knowingly.

“I so freakin’ excited. I’m on my way there. Should be seeing you tomorrow sometime. Peace out, bitches.”

Sam and Castiel took turns sitting with Dean. Castiel was willing him to wake up, but he slept on into the late afternoon.

“Cas, I’m going out to the store to pick up supplies. I won’t be long.” Sam gave his sleeping brother an affectionate look and left them alone.

Castiel sat there…waiting. He was good at it. His mind wandered. He almost missed the flutter of Dean’s eyelids because he was concentrating on the rise and fall of Dean’s chest.

“Dean,” Castiel whispered, brushing his hand over Dean’s jaw, rough with two days growth.

“Cas…” Dean’s voice was hoarse from disuse.

“Shhhh. Drink this.” Castiel held up the bottle of water from the nightstand. Dean took a few small sips.

“Cas…” Dean coughed. “What happened?”

“The Mark is gone, Dean.” Dean looked at his arm in disbelief. He struggled to sit up.

“What the fuck?”

“Charlie seems to think it was something she called ‘true love’s kiss’.”

“What? Like freakin’ Sleeping Beauty or some shit like that?” Dean touched his arm. “That’s fuckin’ nuts.”

“Maybe fairy tales are real, Dean.” Castiel squeezed his hand and lightly kissed his hunter’s lips.


End file.
